Initially, I blamed my listlessness and fatigue on the time change and weekend company. One week later I felt no better. I felt a dull ache around my heart, my pulse rate popped up to 120 beats per minute and I was short of breath.
Just sit down… What is wrong with me, Jesus… What day is it?
Then like tumblers in a lock everything fell into place and began to make sense!
March 19 marked the 8th Anniversary of my Honeymoon, with Wayne in St Lucia.
I was experiencing cognitive dissonance, (CD.) The lack of harmony or agreement between the mind and body, which causes intellectual stress and tension. My heart remembered, my body remembered; however, my brain was out of sync.
Once I realized the disconnect – then I was able to embrace the wonderful memories.
The Royalton Resort truly pampered us! I will never forget the beauty of the azure, blueCaribbean Sea, the heavenly breezes, the groomed sand of the early morning, the luscious fruits and succulent meals. For 7 luxurious days we were front and center forthe “Golden Hour” to watch the sun melt into the ocean. We were in love and caught in the lap of Caribbean charm and service… I was MI ‘lady and Wayne was Sir.
Interestingly, I did not cry, as my mind flooded with memories. I smiled, and as I remembered- the ache around my heart began to dissipate, my pulse rate slowed, as I prayed and thanked God for the way He made me, I felt energized and more like my own self!
I was reminded of Ephesians 6:12.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this [present] darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) places.”
I had struggled for two weeks with physical symptoms I could not understand; (the power of darkness trying to pull me down.) There is a thin line between normal grief and an outright spiritual attack! When I stopped and asked Jesus “what’s wrong with me?” Instantly, the disconnect was “connected!” I moved out of the power of darkness onto the path God has laid out for me.
Are you currently struggling with something?
Jesus is waiting ~ give it to Him!